“If you wanna hear God laugh, just tell him your plans.”
I don’t know who originally quoted this, but an old coworker buddy of mine, who passed away last September, told me this after our small mom-and-pop employer got bought out by a larger corporate business.
The aftermath of this buyout led to a year of the deepest levels of surrender I ever knew I could handle. My last day at that job was a year ago today, and I was heartbroken.
But since then, I’ve learned the beauty in the uncertainty, in the unknown, in the surrender—it is paradoxically such a peaceful place to reside.
When I was a young girl, I had my life all planned out. I was going to graduate from high school, go to college, meet a nice man, marry him at 23, get a good job, and start a family shortly after.
Fast-forward 15ish years, and I was exactly on par. I had a good boyfriend, got engaged at 22, was about to graduate from college, had a good job lined up, and was planning our wedding for the summer after my 23rd birthday.
Life goals accomplished. *check*
This makes me giggle. Gosh I was so naive.
This guy truly was a really good guy. I knew him since I was 16, we dated all through college, I trusted him, and we had a lot in common. It made perfect logical sense at the time. But it turns out we grew apart–and quite a bit.
I called off the engagement and didn’t end up marrying him, and both of our lives took completely different and unexpectedly better paths. I remember stating to people back then that making big life plans is worthless, because as soon as you plan something, it all gets ripped to shreds. Something always comes in to warp your entire reality.
This realization hit me pretty hard back then, and it’s a lesson I’ve been learning at deeper and deeper levels ever since.
I’m a Capricorn Sun and Virgo Rising, and I have a lot of the earth element in my natal astrology chart. I’m naturally a hard worker and practical in my approach to life. I’ve always been an analytical thinker, and if something didn’t make sense logically, I dismissed it as an option for consideration. Period.
I was a soldier–grounded, calculated, rigid, tough–trying to control and plan so much of my life as a strategist.
But damn if my heart doesn’t pull me back into alignment when my analytical mind gets out of hand. Thank you so much to my Leo Moon.
Now I’m being pushed to fully live like a sailor–flowing with the swells and retreats of the sea, guided by my inner compass–a true voyager in the exploration of life. With a few expletives tossed in for spiciness.
I never knew I’d live this way–it always scared me because I needed to plan and have full control over everything in my life. Anything else seemed terrifying. I also know that there are people who think I’m a crazy hippie now, and I am 100% okay with that. And I do understand it, because I used to have the same mindset.
But honestly, I straight up love my life and would never go back to my old ways. I now find myself smiling most of the time, in a constant state of fluidity. It’s really so peaceful and liberating–a true free-spirited gypsy soul.
The thing about trying to live in a calculated, strategic way, with attachments to expectations, is that we set ourselves up for major disappointment.
I’m not saying we shouldn’t ever make plans, but it’s most peaceful to plan in a state of flow, taking divinely inspired action steps. When we ride the waves, navigating our voyage using the stars in our hearts, we can trust that we’ll always be led to our most fulfilling destination, with no attachment to the details of the outcome.
And as soon as the clouds and storms roll in, blocking our cosmic guidance, and our tears begin to fall like raindrops–suddenly we realize the sky is clearing again and our tears became the stars that light and navigate our path. We will always be guided by the compass of our hearts.
Hark, now hear the sailors cry
Smell the sea and feel the sky
Let your soul and spirit fly
Into the mystic…
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The Tapestry Room 